One of those nights

Ever have those nights where you know you should be sleeping, but the world and just your mind is preventing you to do so. Lately the Gospel reading has been hitting the nerve, in a good way. It's like the Lord knows exactly what I should be hearing.

For instance Thursday's reading on the 30th of November. Matthew 4:18-22.

• He said to them, “Come after me, and I will make you fishers of men.” At once they left their nets and followed him.

We have heard the saying a million times. Come, after me, and I will make you fishers of men. But often times we forget about the line the comes directly after. "At once they left their nets and followed him." They didn't have to get a few belongings, or say goodbye. They just left and followed.

I know first hand when God is calling me to make a decision in my life, I have never right than and there left and followed. Hesitation and resistance allows comes first. I am too afraid because I am afraid of the person God is calling me to be. We all know that the more God calls us closer to Him the more we learn about ourselves. And usually these characteristics or ourselves are not the most faltering.

Lord, give me the strength to leave and follow. Let me not resist my own selfishness, but at the same time be mindful that it is your will I follow not mine.