Crush me more and more...

I often wonder while in prayer...What the heck I got myself into? The more and more I sit in the silence of our Lord, I pray if my daily life is even His will or am I just living a life of mediocrity and not willing to step it up a little.

During lent, I went a little crazy and decided to go on a media fast, I have had a lot more time to figure out who the real me is and be able to do a lot more arts and crafts things. One being this project that took me a few days because I rarely have time to just sit and be. I hand wrote quotes and decided to burn holes and edges here and there. It truly reflects my pray life. Sometimes its on fire and the union with our Lord is so strong, but other times the fire diminishes and I am left with burnt edges of holes depending how strong that fire was. It is so funny how quickly the fire fades and we are left with ashes in our lives.

Anyway, there is a book I started reading, but haven't finished called "The Soul of the Apostolate." [Hence the title on the artwork.] There is a reason I haven't finished, you cannot read it all in one sitting. In just a few paragraphs you are left in awe about our responsibility as apostles to fulfill God's desire to aid the entrance of more of His children into His kingdom. The book truly allows you to humble yourself and know that all should be done in the glory of God.

There is a quote that says, "...crush me more and more...let me be a dust from the sand on the road...." I don't many people that pray in this manner, but I have found myself doing so lately. I need to humble myself more and let the Lord take control over my life. It is truly when I am doing the work of our Lord that I am most at peace in this world. When I am doing the things "I think need to get done" throughout the day, I am running around from one task to the next.

Lord, I ask you to crush me more and more, let this vanity in my life be taken away and let your glory shine.

Free JPII Relic

This is not a joke. I have heard it several times on a podcast I am subscribed to [Saintcast on SQPN] and from the CNS [Catholic News Service]. By sending a letter for a request of his relic, you will receive a prayer card that contains a second class relic which is part of a small piece of one white cassock worn by Pope John Paul II. I think I am going to be sending a letter and a donation, and maybe I might get it. It's worth a chance.

• http://www.catholic.org/international/international_story.php?id=23178

The reason for all this is the cause of his beatification. Let's honor him in a more intimate way. [www.JohnPaulIIBeatification.org]

The most effective weapon and St. Patrick

"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."- Mark Twain

I have been into quotes the past few days it seems. Yesterday I spent the afternoon with a friend and we walked around shopping and window shopping and enjoying the great temperature that God had to offer.

We went to a bookstore to just look around and I saw quote on a journal. I couldn't help but laugh a little and smile. My dad always tells me that laughter is contagious. Just try to laugh out loud, even fake it and soon a smile will develop.

If only enough of us would laugh more, we would have the most effective weapon in the world. If only life could be that simple.

Going to enjoy the second largest St. Patrick's Day Parade which is in KC. [little fact you didn't know about] Learn more about St. Patrick's Day.

Do you wish to rise?

"Do you wish to rise? Begin by descending. You plan a tower that will pierce the clouds? Lay first the foundation of humility." - St. Augustine.

For some reason every time I get a break from my daily routine in Omaha, I seem to take a few steps back. I descend greatly. While I am descending humility strikes in and I realize I am not that perfect. Rather, it's true I am human like everyone else. As soon as people find out you are a Catholic missionary, they think you have a direct connection to God. Even some of my family members think that my prayers get to God quicker than theirs. But that is not the case I am human like everyone else.

I want the fame and glory. I want the acknowledgment of existence. But like St. Augustine said, I cannot get there unless I have the foundation of humility. It will be a long time til that develops. My tower might never get up to two stories.

Why do I write this? Because I am pretty sure I am not the only one who thinks like this. Let's be humble, so we can rise. Believe no one likes to descend, but let's face it its a necessity in life.

Give me back my boyfriend? What?

Last night I had the great opportunity to spend some quality time with the female missionaries at UMKC. Spending a little less than 24 hours with these young ladies, I realized how different each FOCUS team functions. I am grateful and yet at the same time truly sad. We had a relaxing evening with some dinner, movie and board game. What 23 year old doesn't think this is would be fun?

The favorite part of the evening is when one of the missionaries wanted to play a 1988 board game, Sweet Valley High. I remember a friend used to own this and we would play once in a while, but while we were playing last night it was a little scary. I googled the game and found this description: "Players move around the game board trying to find their boyfriends and the items they need for their date. Various spaces on the board and card draws cause random effects to shake things up." [http://www.boardgamegeek.com]

The funniest part of the game is you can switch boyfriends. So the whole night consisted of who's boyfriends was the cutest and stealing each other's boyfriends. You can only win if you had all your items for your perfect date and your correct boyfriend. I personally just wanted to get my bicycle, it took such a long time to find it. Finally in the middle of the game, one of the missionaries said, "This is why our culture is so messed up." I kept thinking to myself someone should make a Catholic version of this game, it would so funny.

I wonder if back in 1988 when they were coming back with the concept of this game, that this game would soon turn into a reality. Even a simple board game made humans look like objects. I am not saying we should not play this game because I had a blast especially when we all did side pony tails, but just something to think about.

Family Fun.

Happy 23rd Birthday!! Okay well, I didn't get a new car for my birthday, but I definately got lots of family time a few days later.

How bad do you want it?

"If you want something that you've never had before, you must do something that you've never done."

Adam, my campus director, teammate, and friend wrote this quote at the end of an e-mail he sent to all the student leaders here on campus. He was extending the invitation to come to the "Upper room" to have fellowship, prayer, and break some bread. Always in the Gospel when our Lord talked to chosen few, it was in a setting of an upper room. It truly grasped my attention. We all have dreams and aspirations for our lives, but are we truly able to do all we can to make the effort to allow our dreams to come true.

I hope to one day be a better Catholic so my calling for discipleship with our Lord can be one hundred and ten percent fulfilled. However, am I doing everything in my daily life to make this possible. Am I am showing by my actions and words that I love our Lord to the fulfillest? Am I bringing my family and friends closer to Him? Am I even taking the time in my day to talk to our Lord daily, not just during my Holy Hour?

Sadly and thankfully my hope and dream to be a better disciple will be a life-long journey. So my friends let's do all we can do to make our dreams and hopes become reality.

When our Lord came back to his disciples in the upper room after the resurrection His first words were "Go and Make." Let's go and make, but make sure we have a intimate relationship with Him before we work for Him.